I was ambivalent about CBS attempting to resurrect the glory of the
original Hawaii Five-0. As a kid in a landlocked state, I loved Hawaii
Five-0. The catchy theme song, the beautiful scenery, and the cool Jack
Lord as the cool Steve McGarrett. Icy cool, not hip cool. I have only seen the show twice, but there are a few things that I have noticed.
First, what is up with the car? Why are they always showing me the man with his car? I know in Magnum P.I. the Ferrari was front and center, but Magnum doesn't count. Magnum isn't Magnum without the Ferrari and a Chevy Camaro is not a Ferrari. I think Camaros were pretty popular when I was in high school...in the '80s.
Second, everything is incredibly attractive, the people and the
scenery. One thing I do like is the location montages between scenes,
like the original show did. The Oah'u Tourist and Visitors Bureau thanks you. The actors are very pretty too. Alex O'Loughlin as the new Steve McGarrett
is cool, but not icy. It seems very important that the man arrive at
work in a form fitting t-shirt or with his shirt unbuttoned. The tattoo
on his very well muscled bicep is always visible. Scott Caan is Danny Williams (Danno). He, at least, wears a tie, but neither gentleman appears to own a fully functioning razor. Daniel Dae
Kim as Chin Ho Kelly is the third outrageously attractive man on the
team and the alleged "bad" cop attempting to redeem himself. As such,
his is the only razor that gives a clean, close shave. He is also a fan
of the form fitting t-shirt. Have police uniforms and suits been
outlawed on the Hawaiian Islands? Finally, there is the token female.
Let's talk about the token female. Grace Park plays Kono Kalakaua a new police officer and former surfer. Who knew Kono was an unisex name? Kono in the original Five-0 was a guy. Kono
is attractive and wears form fitting, but not flashy clothes, because
after all she is a serious police woman...who is always getting saved.
She gets paired up with the McGarrett or Kelly and she
never gets to give directions. As I said, I have only seen two shows
and in those two hours she has been: kidnapped, beaten up, snuck up on
from behind by a bad guy and saved by McGarrett and sent
into a shelter with a mom and kid. She doesn't get to clear the house
with the big boys, she gets to check out the garage and find the dead
body and call in the big boys to show them. I thought this was some
elite, crack team. If she is so good that she gets to be on the special
team, then let her kick some ass. Let her save the men occasionally or
come up with the genius idea that breaks the case. If not, then get
the girl some clothes that show her cleavage and get the sexual tension
going with someone. Her dialogue isn't interesting , humorous or smart
and she never smiles. Clearly her entire reason for being is the fact
that she has breasts and ovaries and thus brings diversity to the
testosterone laden crew. Maybe she needs some inspiration. Grace. Go
home and watch some old "Police Woman" shows from the '70s. Angie
Dickinson was awesome as Pepper Anderson. She was sassy and sexy and
kicked felonious booty. Sorry, alleged felonious booty. Always
innocent until proven guilty.
My final thought is that these people have no life except for when
they are at work. This happened with the original show and it happens
with other shows too, but these are young, sexy people living in Hawaii
in 2011. They probably aren't going home and putting on their fuzzy
slippers and pjs and watching tv. Well, Kono
probably is, because she is just that boring. I don't need to see it,
but maybe they could allude to it to try to make these characters more
three dimensional. Pretty scenery, whether it's nature or human, will
only go so far.
Book him, Danno.
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